Template:NpcData/Dr. Joe
| Dr. Joe | |
|---|---|
| Level | 1 |
| Aggressive | No |
| Hostile | No |
| Interactable | Yes |
Dialogue
15 lines of dialogue. Options are marked ›, → jumps to the line an option leads to.
Conversation starts
Dr. Joe: Greetings, traveler. I am Dr. Joe, revered for my excellence in treating every ailment, if I do say so myself. Believe me when I say you are in safe hands. Trust me, I'm a doctor. Now...
- › Continue →
Dr. Joe: Tell me, what is it that troubles you today?
- › Sore tooth, doctor. →
- › Doctor, my head hurts. →
- › Doctor, I have the cold... *cough* →
- › Infection and inflammation, doctor. →
- › I... I lost my job, doctor... →
- › Actually, doctor, I believe I'm just fine. →
Dr. Joe: Indeed. So common, alas, so painful. Fear not, I have just the thing for you - alcohol. Try this bottle of gin, for instance. A generous sip every other minute, hold in your mouth a few seconds and swallow. The effects are immediate.
- › Thank you, doctor. (end)
Dr. Joe: Oh yes, the headache, the eternal bane of the human existence. Now, the remedy for this is somewhat more complex, but the results speak for themselves I assure you. You must follow these steps carefully...
- › Yes, doctor? →
Dr. Joe: First step, you take this bottle of whiskey...
- › Right. →
Dr. Joe: Second step, you open the bottle...
- › With you so far. →
Dr. Joe: Third step, you take a good, long sip...
- › I see... →
Dr. Joe: And the final step, you close the bottle and return to step one at your leisure.
- › Ah, I think I got it doctor. Thank you, I shall follow your instructions to the letter. (end)
Dr. Joe: Ahhh, luckily for you, the cold is easily defeated. All you need is a strong dose of rum to be administered every so often during the day. You will have shrugged it off before long.
- › Thank you, doctor. (end)
Dr. Joe: Hmm, indeed... indeed... I shall have to think about this a moment...
- › Continue →
Dr. Joe: Indeed... Now this case calls for something more exotic - brandy. I advice a full bottle each day until the problem no longer persists.
- › Continue →
Dr. Joe: Come see me again if the symptoms do not disappear within the next few days, we may need to prescribe a little whiskey on the side, but let's hope it doesn't come to that.
- › Thank you, doctor. (end)
Dr. Joe: Oof... that weighs heavy on the heart. I want you to know that I sympathise, I'm here for you, and there is a cure for your pain. Wine, several bottles of it, to be consumed until you pass out.
- › Continue →
Dr. Joe: One treatment ought to do it, but don't be surprised if you find yourself needing two or even three sessions, it's perfectly normal.
- › Thank you, doctor. (end)
Dr. Joe: Truly? Well in that case might I advise you to enjoy your day along with some beer?
- › Thank you doctor, I will. (end)